When school isn’t safe…

Update: There is now a GoFundMe for Maddie and her family to move to Houston. Please click here for it!

TW: extreme transphobic comments against a child

Twelve years old, that boundary year, the line between childhood and teen. Still young enough to play on the playground but old enough to start worrying that the slide and swings are a bit uncool. The age where they’re cool in groups but going home to play Minecraft, Barbies, and lego. An age of innocence. And an age where grown adults think nothing of using the slurs of “it”, “half baked maggot”, “thing”, and “the transgender” if you’re not cisgender and/or straight. The adults also refer to a gay teacher as “the queer teacher” and want to get rid of them both, the teacher and twelve year old transgender girl Maddie.

These so called adults have children of their own and not an ounce of empathy between them. They cheerfully choose which children of theirs who will kick “his” ass in the bathroom with the ultimate plan of running her and her father out of town.

 

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Not even half an ounce of empathy

The child in question usually uses the staff washroom, which isn’t a surprise considering the attitude of the locals, but couldn’t find it in the new school and used the girls’ room once. That was enough to get these junior high wannabe adults blathering and egging each other on.

People act like bullying is a childhood issue and forget the kids are learning it from somewhere. This is simply more blatant than usual. How do you think they’d treat a trans adult who dared to move into their town of 492 people?

Sometimes bucolic just means inbred.

If I were her parents, I’d be moving as quickly as I could. The townsfolk would think they won but they’re like the apocryphal chess playing pigeon. Strutting around shitting everywhere, acting like they won. Meanwhile the family would be in better surroundings with better people. They could hardly find worse, no matter what the townspeople think.

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What Seth doesn’t realize is that, overall, 70% are supportive of trans people, wanting the government to do more to help them. Half the population of the States believes they should use the washroom of their gender and 61% in Canada. Seth’s an outlier, a dinosaur in wait of a meteor strike.

I’d love to have a happy ending to this post, everyone loves a happy ending, but the reality is a child is stuck in a town where she is seen as vermin to be destroyed and not a child to be supported. A child who’s in hiding, along with her siblings, for their own protection. All I can suggest is to support the people you know and the people around you. If you see someone who’s trans, simply smile like you would to anyone else. Stand up for her (or him) if she’s being hassled. Be there.

If that’s not enough, you can buy “you can pee next to me” pins. I know there’s a similarly phrased one and I’ve totally lost the phrase. If you know it, feel free to remind me. There are groups like Transgender & Allies Circle of Trust where people offer, in part, support and empathy to newly out trans people. You can attend your local PFLAG meetings and find out what’s happening with the LGBTQ community in your area. They openly accept allies. And you can stand up to people like Seth and Eddie and Kevin. People who think nothing of attacking and harrassing a 12 year old.

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Colin’s very own blog…

Colin has started his own blog and you can find it right here. So far it’s just one post but he plans on writing in it regularly. The topics will be computers, video games, electronics, and politics with whatever else he’s interested in thrown in. Enjoy!

The best birthday present ever…

My Mom called and asked if we could have lunch together, one day after my birthday, at the local Indian restaurant we like. I agreed and we all got together for a scrumptious lunch. Then my Mom handed me a fat envelope, which I looked at in surprise. It was too fat to be money and envelopes don’t tend to hold much else. It turned out to be a one night/two day stay at Ste. Anne’s Spa for myself, my Mom, and my two sisters. A girls’ getaway.

My anxiety immediately kicked in. I’d been assured there were vegan options. But what if my breakfast option was oatmeal and bananas, neither of which I liked. I stewed about that one night until I finally fell asleep then woke up and checked their menu online. They don’t even serve oatmeal. I don’t think bananas were on the list either.

I stood outside on the morning we left and stared at the torrential rain. This was so not what I’d hoped for (but was definitely what I worried about).

pouring rain on the way to the spa

Jen might as well have been driving through a waterfall

But luck was with us and the rain stopped shortly after we arrived at the spa. We got dressed in our white robes and bathing suits then puttered around the spa and outside.

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The back view of the spa

It was amazing! We sat in the eucalyptus steam room until we couldn’t stand it anymore then went outside to the hot tub. They actually had three tubs, a hot tub, an absolutely freezing plunge tub, and a bigger cooling tub. Everyone else cooled off in the plunge tub while I enjoyed the cooling tub. And I loved the massage chairs, especially the foot massage!

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My sisters are adjusting the massage settings, not playing on their phones

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Me in the massage chair

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The hot tub in a quiet moment

Soon it was 4pm and we could collect the keys for our cottage. We were staying in the Farmhouse cottage, just a short walk away from the spa. Like everything else, it was absolutely gorgeous.

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The Farmhouse. My room was directly above the front porch

My room had the cutest triangle door…

My room's triangle door

… and sloped ceilings. It had two steps down and I was a bit worried I’d forget about them in the middle of the night but I didn’t. It was so cozy!

my room

I think the hardest part of the meals was the food was all so good, we ended up stuffing ourselves until we were as round and plump as butterball turkeys.

my ratatouille dinner

My vegan ratatouille

I could go on for ages, it was just a wonderful trip, and we did so much in such a short amount of time. I haven’t mentioned our free facials or the spa treatments or the pool or the dalmation spotted great dane.

Great dane in the garden

Look at that wittle face. He’s a 9 year old puppy

We all kept saying, over and over, that there was way more to do than could be fit into two days and that we have to go back. It won’t be soon but maybe sometime in the next couple of years we’ll be walking through the gardens again.

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Me, my sister Jen, and my Mom walking to the spa from our cottage

The great pretender…

We were walking into our apartment and Colin, as usual, was chattering away about misogyny and misandry. I was paying more attention to getting our wagon of groceries past the front hall table than what he was saying, mainly because this is a regular topic on his part and I’ve pretty much heard everything. Plus it’s tricky getting the wagon around the table. Then, suddenly, he announced “and it goes double for my gender”.

“Which gender?” I asked since it wasn’t obvious by the conversation. “Male or female?”

“Male!” he yelled. “I’ve already told you this so many times!”

“And you’ve told me you’re female so many times before too,” I replied.

And, with that, he quieted down. “I can’t say that I’m female anymore,” he replied sadly. “It hurts me too much. I need to pretend to be male.”

I have so many emotions about this. Part of it’s sadness because he obviously wants to transition almost as much as he wants kids. Part of it’s anger because he’s been told, repeatedly, by fellow trans people that he can stop hormones for a few months and get his sperm back for conception.

I’m angry at the medical profession for being, once again, so far behind trans people on medical knowledge. They should be researching this information and, as far as I can tell, they aren’t.

I’m angry at Colin because he’s putting a non-existent child ahead of his own wellbeing. Maybe, someday, there’ll be a child but conception’s going to be damn tricky when he’s living in his bedroom 99% of the time. No one’s going to jump out of YouTube and invite him on a date.

And I’m sad because he’s so obviously not happy and not doing well mentally but keeps plugging away on the same route, getting more and more unhappy. But he’s a grown adult now and has to make his own decisions. Hopefully one day soon he’ll decide to put his own wellbeing first. Hopefully someday it’ll be his time to shine.

born to be awesome

 

Sweet dreams…

I used to have extremely vivid and memorable dreams, the kind that would make my kids laugh happily when I told them then they’d pronounce me as weird. Like it’s my fault my mind comes up with such things as flying platypuses. Then I went on several psychiatric medications and it all changed. I now wake up from a richly vivid dream then it quickly disappears, like cotton candy in water. One second I have the whole dream, as detailed as a fine tapestry, then I only have somethi- and, oops, it’s all gone.

A couple of days ago I had two nights in a row with very short and memorable dreams. The first dream involved me going to Dollarama. All of you non-Canadians don’t know what you’re missing. Dollarama is the dollar store and I love going there for decorations like pictures, wall stickers, and word art. This dream found me, as usual, in the decor aisle where I found something, a picture of some sort, that was glittery, sparkly, and immediately loved.

The next time Colin and I went to Dollarama, we walked the aisles like usual and finally made it to the decor aisle. There something caught my eye on the bottom shelf where it would be easily overlooked. It was gold, sparkly, and the only one like it. I already know where I’m going to put it when I eventually move. It’ll be perfect in the dining room with my favourite photos of the kids.

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Some of the stars have gemstones and the sequins are loose

The next dream found me outside and sitting on a bench, I don’t know where, maybe Lakeview Park. A bubbly, vivacious woman approached me and complimented my hair. Then she asked me out. I, of course, accepted.

I don’t believe in fortune telling or prophetic dreams but I think I’ll be spending a bit more time loitering around park benches than I usually do.

Colin’s second blog post (by Colin)…

So to start off with, I’m going to start off with the political thing I mentioned briefly in my last post, fining people for not using someone’s preferred pronouns or gender. Personally I don’t see how it would help. Because is someone going to sit there and say, “Oh I totally know what you mean by that, how I should use your preferred gender.” Or are they going to ban you from the establishment for something you did in the past, find just some reason to ban you, and not learn their lesson. And just be more upset with the LGBT community. If I thought it was going to help, I’d be all for it, but fining people? Like, think about speeding, right? People get fines for speeding, but isn’t it a regular thing? A fine really doesn’t do anything. And drinking and driving. We’re told endlessly not to drink and drive but there are still people who do that.

ColinBut let’s move on to the thing everyone probably has on their mind. How Obama completely wronged the gay community by legalizing gay marriage. Now it sounds weird right? You legalize gay marriage and you harm the community but, from what I’ve seen, that’s exactly what he did. When he legalized gay marriage, he put no protections under the law. So if everyone thinks back, you can probably remember right after they legalized gay marriage, you saw a massive thing where people were kicked out of their building, fired from their job, right after coming back from getting married, which is just fun. Now to me, it seems like it’s going to be more difficult to put the protections in the law now because, unlike the gender wage gap, which has been stopped, in most places, thirty years ago, it’s not a thing where you legalize gay marriage and it’s fine. You need to put specific protections in the law because, with the wage gap, you just had to say you have to pay men and women equally. But with gay marriage, Obama took the lazy way out. You have it where gay marriage is legal but not protected. So you can get fired still for being gay and kicked out of your apartment for being gay but you can get married. To me, that doesn’t seem equal. But Canada did make it illegal to kick someone out of a building for being gay but, to be honest, I don’t know about the last part because Canadians are so nice they probably weren’t firing people in the first place or kicking people out and they were probably just marrying them anyway <joke>.

The future and why free speech is very important. If we don’t have free speech and that kind of includes a bit of hate speech (that obviously doesn’t include death threats or threats of assault) you could have a situation which is entirely possible right now, where, if you say a word, your phone would pick it up and the police would be at your door in fifteen minutes to arrest you. Personally, that doesn’t sound fun, I don’t know about anyone else. And also, talking bad about people like the government, people in government, celebrities. I remember Anita Sarkeesian went to the UN and I’m surprised that no one in the news picked it up. She said bullying and stuff like that were people disagreeing with her on the internet. Disagreement is not bullying. But think about the future. If it is classified as bullying, what could happen next? You disagree with someone in government, you’re bullying them, you go to jail for like 20 years. But even, like, activists. You disagree with them, you could get the same prison time I bet.

Speaking of activism. Has anyone noticed the left is getting away with stuff they shouldn’t. Obviously in like the UK, Scotland, Canada, the US… places like that. Obviously not the place they’re getting fucking shot. But like antifa, they’re getting away with stuff like beating people up. I remember when the bike lock happened, the police said “we can’t track them, they have a mask on”. And then 4chan had to step in for the police and investigated it. And they brought enough evidence to get the guy arrested. Which, just a side note, don’t get on 4chan’s bad side. They found a flag that was inside someone’s house, which only had one window in an unknown location on a wall. It was on a white wall, with nothing around it, inside someone’s house. And they found it in a day. This is a thing that happened. They found it in a day or two. One more thing about 4chan, the news needs to stop falling for them. The OK sign is apparently “white power” and milk is apparently “white supremacists” but, you know, the news has a lot of investigative journalists to do things <sarcasm>.

And now good news. If anyone’s used Google Pay you can probably figure this one out. Soon your phone will do literally everything except gaming. You will have to play Steam games on the computer. So your phone will slide into a thing on your computer and will have everything on your phone be accessible on your desktop soon. But you’d still have all the functionalities of a desktop too, it will be a virtual interface but about gaming thing, try playing Fall Out 4 on the iPhone10 or the newest Samsung or any other phone from this year. Even the phone that was a dedicated gaming phone won’t play Fall Out 4. The desktop will aways be faster but the phone processors will be really good but most people will have a phone and a display for at home. But, in the future, you need your ID, grab your phone. You need your bus pass, grab your phone. We’re already paying with stuff on the phone so if you need your credit card, grab your phone, if you need your Visa, grab your phone. You need basically anything, you need your airplane ticket, grab your phone. You need to start your car, well grab your phone, that’s your key. But, in the future, your phone will be everything, which at first glance seems like, well this is horrible. If you lose your phone, all you need to do is grab your old phone, don’t trade it in because if you trade it in, you won’t have it anymore. And this is advice for if you’re going to get a new phone. Even though they say they’re going to give you a better phone if you trade your old one in, don’t. Unless if you think you can afford $100 to repair the screen. Maybe even $500 depending on the phone. Just get the best phone you can without trading in your old phone.

So to make a long story short. Free speech is important. No one learns anything by a fine. And the future will be you with a phone and, if you play gaming on a computer now, you’ll have a computer.

All about Colin (by Colin)

One of my earliest memories was hanging out under the bridge at my old place. It was so dirty. It was a swamp. If I wasn’t careful enough my feet would go right into the soil. One of my favourite memories was that I stole my Mom’s laptop when she was at work and my friend and I stayed in this elevator for about two hours, nice and air conditioned elevator. And we just sat there on the elevator and it was fabulous. We were just playing this one game, I think it was Facade, the game where you go into this house. You’re celebrating the fact these people got married and you had to try to keep them together. It was this most challenging game and it took over YouTube longer than most games. The only game that took over longer, I think, is FNAF (Five Nights At Freddys).

I did not have a nice time going to high school. My first high school wasn’t as bad as my second. I got into arguments about doing math. A sneak preview for the second one is the second high school would change what they were doing in the day just to bug me. Manipulate the other students to not like me. Bring me to the office for barely any reason. Refuse to let me do the classes I wanted to do. They didn’t let me do any work placement stuff. Caused one of my friends to move because of the stress their parents were going under.

Now let’s get back to my first high school. They did stuff bad like I wanted to do more school work. They started handing out more then they told everyone in the class that it was my fault because I kept asking for more school work. But I got the last laugh because I pointed out that I could do the work while everyone else had free time. For the most part, if we stayed there it probably would have gotten better. But, because we moved, oh boy does it get bad.

The second school, they did stuff like, I’d bike to school and they didn’t know I was coming in because I was 10 minutes late so I’d come into class and they’d have math on the board and I’d say “Great, we’re doing math?” and they’d be like, “No, we’re doing something else, we’re doing science.” They’d say we’re doing this for you but it was always weird because they were doing it instead of math. Days that I was not at school because I had a dentist appointment, a doctor’s appointment, I had to stop the universe from imploding again, they’d always have math. They’d always talk about how they had math the day before. I asked in the third year if they were moving math and removing it if I was there or not. You’ll never guess what they said, they said they’re not. And, if you don’t understand why I thought they were, just go to the beginning and re-read again. It’s blatantly obvious. Then one day I did go into class quite upset but all I did was keep asking to do math and they sent me to the office who sent me home, in the middle of winter, and I’d forgot my jacket.

They’d do other stuff like manipulate the class to get the kids to fall into line. They make sure kids follow exactly what they say or they’d punish them, for no reason, by sending them to the office and sending them home. They’d hold back school work. There was one kid, I remember who was going home every day walking. Eventually he stopped going home early. I asked him why and it was because of the teacher. Has anyone heard of the flexing kids of snapchat? They basically just flex their money and tell people “I can afford this and you can’t”. That’s basically what my teachers would do when we got back to school every Monday. They would talk about how their trailer was amazing and how they got like a golf cart and their 16 year old kid a brand new car. Almost every kid in that class was doing horribly financially. And they’d talk for half an hour. Then it would come to me and I’d have five minutes tops. Oh and they’d talk about, like, their boat too. Keep in mind this person had a car, a house, a car for their kid, a trailer, and a boat.

My best friend for two years in high school got pushed out of where he even lived because of the stuff that was going on. I think it was mainly him being my friend that got him bullied by the teachers. I asked his parents when I saw them last if they were moving because of the school and the teachers and they said yes. And, umm, the one teacher who was nice to me got transferred to another class. A tonne of other teachers were confused about how I wasn’t listening to my teachers when I was listening to them and trying my hardest and I could just see in their faces they were confused as to why the teachers weren’t letting me go to other classes.

Now going to the best part of all, they wouldn’t go by the gender pronouns I wanted. I don’t go by them at all anymore but it was zie and zir. First thing I want to say is, I don’t think they should have been fined but it shows their character. They refused to call me by the gender pronouns I wanted for absolutely no reason. Even when the school board came in and told them they had to, nothing happened. And then they’d do this stuff that ladies first and I told them jokingly I’d have to go between because of my gender and mostly because I wanted them to stop having women go up first. And it was causing a thing where women hanged out with women and men hanged out with men. I don’t know how the others saw me because I don’t know what the teachers said when I wasn’t at school.

Now we’re at the present today. Now I’m finally getting the education I wanted. I went to the John Howard Society and got a shit ton of math done. And it was for like a year and it was great because they’d me sit down and listen to music and do as much math as I could that day. Some days would be a page and some would be five. And now I’m going through college courses.

I want to transition to female but I can’t because I want to have kids. I knew something was wrong with my gender when I was a kid, that I was probably born with the wrong gender. But I didn’t know exactly what and, to be honest, I didn’t particularly care. I was more interested in “hey, where does that creek go?” I feel upset about not transitioning.

So that’s about it. That’s my life. Other than video games, I really don’t do much anymore. I’m thinking about starting a gaming channel or something like that.

And coming up in the next blog, my views on politics. Here’s a sneak preview, politics is a bit more difficult than most people believe like Obama legalizing gay marriage is possibly one of the worst things he’s done.

Colin on the dock

p.s. How Canada did it is how Obama should have done it.