Raising a Perfect Teenager

One thing I’ve learned about Colin over the years is he’s never wrong. He might be mistaken on occasion but wrong? Not on your life. This must be a burden but he manages to bear it.

Take yesterday for example (oh please, take yesterday). I commented to Colin that I was thinking about buying a song off itunes called Somebody That I Used To Know. He shook his head in disappointment.

“I don’t like that song,” he commented as he sat on the couch.

“Yes, I know,” I agreed. Neither him or Kait liked it.

“I don’t know why you like it,” he continued. “I mean you do know what it’s about.”

I looked at him in surprise. I had read the lyrics and definitely knew what the song was about.

“Umm, it’s about a couple that broke up,” I explained. He shook his head sadly and gave me a patronizing look. My fingers clenched.

“That might be what you think but it’s about abuse,” he said earnestly. “He even talks about the scar he left and the sunglasses she needs to cover it.”

I stared at him blankly. There wasn’t anything like that in the whole song. I said as much then pulled up the lyrics, reading them aloud to him.

“There’s more to the song than what you read,” he said, eyeing me skeptically.

I nodded absentmindedly as I scrolled through them. “Yes, there is,” I agreed. “But the song repeats a lot, I’ve read everything original.

“Can I listen to the song?” he asked. I nodded then opened the Pentatonix version as it was slightly easier to hear.

To be fair, I hadn’t understood anything the artist said when I first heard the song. I’d been googling “lights down low” to try and find it. Meanwhile those words weren’t in the song at all. It was entirely within the realms of possibility that he’d misheard something.

He sat and listened to the song intently then shook his head. “Maybe they took that verse out when they sang it,” he said.

I looked at him then sighed and opened the original. He said ‘maybe’ but that wasn’t what he meant. His face clearly said he thought they had taken it out.

This was a song I liked and I enjoyed both versions. I had no real problem listening to it again.

We sat together and listened through. At the end he sighed.

“The problem is this isn’t the official version,” he said. He scowled at our computer like it personally offended him.

“It is the official version,” I pointed out. “It was posted by Gotye and is listed as official.”

His scowl deepened then he rolled his eyes. “Mom, you don’t know anything about YouTube. If it was official, it would be on Vevo.”

I knew enough about YouTube to know this wasn’t always the case but I kept my mouth shut. He searched the song through Vevo and glowered when he came up with the exact same version I’d found. His expression grew darker as we watched yet another version with on screen lyrics then went back to the first set of lyrics I’d found and read through them again.

“There’s only one explanation,” he said as he stood up. “Obviously that guy bribed people to hide those lyrics.”

I stared at him dumbfounded as he walked away, finding my voice as he entered the hall.

“You really think he bribed everyone?” I asked. “Is it really that hard to admit you’re wrong?”

He wheeled around and came back in.

“What year was the song written?” he snapped. I called it up and showed him the date. He immediately went to a video called Musical Autopsy and started playing.

Song after awful song played in snippets, while the reviewer cut them to shreds. I started to wonder what the guy would say about the song I liked.

Suddenly Colin turned to me. “Mom? What’s the name of that song again?”

“Somebody That I used to Know,” I replied as Buckley slagged a well played song from last year. Just then the lyrics about sunglasses and a girl with a scar played, much to Buckley’s obvious disgust.

“I was thinking of the wrong song,” Colin admitted ruefully. His lips quirked into a half grin. At this point we’d been reviewing and replaying the song for a half hour. At least he knew he was mistaken.

Of course, in order to buy the song and listen to it while exercising, I needed to have my MP3 player… which Colin had borrowed.

“Colin? Where did you put my MP3 player?”

He rolled his eyes. “I gave it back to you Mom. I put it on top of the fridge.”

Note, those two sentences are diametrically opposed. I’m almost a foot shorter than he is. I can’t even see the top of the fridge. And, of course, the player wasn’t there.

“And my headphones?” I asked wearily. He insisted they’d been given back by being placed on the desk. They weren’t there either.

Thankfully the headphones were found on the back of the TV. Right beside his ipod docking station. Obviously he’d been mistaken again. And, while my tiny MP3 player is still missing, I found an ipod shuffle on sale. It’s now charged and loaded with my playlist.

I asked Colin which version of the song I should buy. I wasn’t surprised when he told me Pentatonix. I think I’ll buy both versions though. It’s the least I can do.

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