Keeping secrets

I talk to my Mom pretty much every single day. Not long conversations, just casual chit-chat about what’s going on in our lives. Last month she commented that Jeremy’s doing so much better in school and seems a lot more calm. What made the difference with him?

My mouth opened then I quickly shut it again. What made the difference? Jeremy’s tentative forays out of the closet had been met with acceptance and he had started accepting himself more too. The biggest turn around happened when he agreed to go to the GSA, even though we hadn’t been able to find it. The second largest happened with this blog. Yes, I read every post and comment to him. And I notify him of likes and follows as well. His anger has dropped dramatically since I started writing here. I think knowing how I feel has made a huge difference. But my Mom doesn’t know any of this.

“I don’t know,” I stammered. When I blithely told Jeremy I wouldn’t tell anyone, conversations like this hadn’t crossed my mind.

I called my Mom the day before yesterday and she asked if anything new happened since we’d last talked. There definitely had. I’d got the call from Jeremy’s school about the GSA and he’d agreed to go to the LGBTQ group I’d found.

“Umm… nothing I can think of,” came my awkward reply.

I thought about this after I got off the phone. If he likes this group, he’ll be going every single week for an hour and a half. This isn’t something I could hide.

I went out with my Mom today and commented that Jeremy’s going to a teen group tonight.

“It’s aimed at kids fifteen and up and says it’s full of exciting activities,” I commented. “Hopefully Jeremy will like it.”

“That sounds fun,” my Mom enthused. “Is it run by the boys and girls club?”

I froze then gave a mental sigh of relief. “Yes, they’re one of the sponsors,” I replied. The rest were an assortment of groups like PFLAG and the local Pride organization. They’re great groups but they’d raise questions I couldn’t answer.

In six more hours we’ll be heading out to the group for the first time. I hope Jeremy has a wonderful time and is his usual fabulous self.

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