What do you say?

I was sitting in the break room at work enjoying a bag of cherries when a young coworker sat down beside me. She smiled and we went through our usual hellos then I told her I had a few new pictures on my phone. I shared a Mother’s Day shot of my sister, my Mom, and I then scrolled to one of Jeremy with his new purple dye.

“Oh,” she blurted, sounding surprised. One side of her mouth quirked down. “Oh,” she repeated. She took another quick look at the screen. “Why did he pick that colour?” she asked, her tone pure disapproval. “He looks like a half girl.”

I had absolutely no idea what to say, so I settled on “okay”. To be fair, I don’t think she had any idea what to say to my response. The rest of break was quiet.

Also, today’s the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. There are 77 countries where it’s against the law to be gay. Jeremy told me a couple of weeks ago that he thought it would be really cool to travel to Russia then promised he wouldn’t go when I started to cry.


5 thoughts on “What do you say?

  1. Oh man. What do you say. I’m trans* and still find myself playing a guessing game. Half my family think I look androgynous, the other think my tits are too big for that, I know which side I’d rather listen to, the other side leave me that nagging doubt. I’m sorry that people want to express their disapproval at Jeremy’s looks, because I’m ashamed of my guessing game, and they should be too. Do they not think that his *mum* might not be the best person to pitch their transphobia to? The world is changing, and they’re not keeping pace.

    • Smile! Jeremy’s fab, and I’m sure you are too! Some of us are lucky in that we have broad views of the world. We see nuance and an extraordinary spectrum of colours- unfortunately some just see black and white. Can you imagine how dull that must be for them? 😉

  2. That’s a good question. What do you say? I am still amazed at the things people think it’s okay to say to me about K. They seem to forget they are talking about my child.

  3. He picked that color because he *likes* it. And I agree, so what’s wrong with being a girl? This gets me so hot under the collar. (and now that I’ve worked through all of your posts that I’d missed, the other one about this comment makes more sense) I understand being struck dumb by her asinine comments, though in the comfort of my home with time to reflect on how I would reply, I can come up with a quite a mouthful. Grr.

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