This conversation happened several months ago when Jeremy was still identifying as bisexual for his sexual orientation and mostly male and a bit female for his gender. He’s currently identifying as completely 100% straight (as long as there’s no lie detector around) and still identifying as mostly male and a bit female for gender.
I can’t remember how the conversation started; Jeremy and I banter back and forth regularly which means our conversations ramble. I do remember we were discussing the word “fabulous” and somehow the conversation sidetracked to how the LGBTQ community has claimed the word.
“That’s my word,” Jeremy protested with a grin. The grin faded.
“Mom?” he asked seriously. “If I’m only interested in men a little and I only feel a little like a woman, do I count?”
Do I count?
I felt like I’d been punched in the gut; which hasn’t happened often but it’s a sensation that’s not easily forgotten. I sat silent and breathless, his words echoed through my mind, bringing tears to my eyes. They still do.
My first thought was that I can’t speak for the LGBTQ community at all. Then I looked into his eyes and thought “fuck it”.
“Yes Jeremy, of course you count,” I assured him.
His smile was fabulous.