Do I count?

This conversation happened several months ago when Jeremy was still identifying as bisexual for his sexual orientation and mostly male and a bit female for his gender. He’s currently identifying as completely 100% straight (as long as there’s no lie detector around) and still identifying as mostly male and a bit female for gender.

I can’t remember how the conversation started; Jeremy and I banter back and forth regularly which means our conversations ramble. I do remember we were discussing the word “fabulous” and somehow the conversation sidetracked to how the LGBTQ community has claimed the word.

“That’s my word,” Jeremy protested with a grin. The grin faded.

“Mom?” he asked seriously. “If I’m only interested in men a little and I only feel a little like a woman, do I count?”

Do I count?

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut; which hasn’t happened often but it’s a sensation that’s not easily forgotten. I sat silent and breathless, his words echoed through my mind, bringing tears to my eyes. They still do.

My first thought was that I can’t speak for the LGBTQ community at all. Then I looked into his eyes and thought “fuck it”.

“Yes Jeremy, of course you count,” I assured him.

His smile was fabulous.

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10 thoughts on “Do I count?

    • Well, he meant does he count as a member of the LGBTQ community but those three words definitely hit me hard.

      And, yes, when it comes to life in general, everyone counts 🙂

      • I’m fairly certain there is a larger population of that community that questions whether they themselves count there. He’s probably in great company in questioning if he counts. My own son has very ambivalent feelings regarding the LGBTQ community and although he has ties to it, he gets very frustrated too.

  1. Oh, you sure got me in the gut there, too. And tears. Oh my heart. Sometimes I just want to grab them all, and hold them close to me, and then bite the head off of any asshole who would dare make any one of them wonder whether they “count”.

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