Jeremy: Mom? I have a bad feeling about our apartment; like maybe there’s a ghost in it or something. Like it’s sending off vibes.
I knew where he was coming from. Earlier he’d been looking for a missing key and tore up the entire living room. While he was hunting he discovered a small cellphone case he’d lost a while ago, neatly tucked away inside a drawer. Most people would assume someone found it and put it away but not Jeremy. He was positive he’d left it on top of the desk and he claimed was too neatly placed to have fallen in there by accident; therefore someone must have come into our apartment and placed it there. Yes, according to Jeremy we have neat and conscientious thieves who don’t steal anything. And now they were supernatural thieves. Oh joy.
Me: We don’t have a ghost. You’re simply overreacting again, like usual. Remember when you were positive the dogs barking outside were going to jump multiple stories to get through your closed bedroom window? Or how we’ll have a thunderstorm and you’re positive we’re going to have a tornado? Running around the apartment panicking because we need water, flashlights, a week’s worth of food, and somewhere to hide?
Jeremy: But those were tornado warnings.
Me: Yes, warnings. That means we’re having thunderstorms that might cause tornado clouds, not that we’re going to get a tornado; that would be a tornado watch. We haven’t had a tornado land around here in decades.
Jeremy: So none since I was born?
Me (reassuringly): No, none since you were born.
Jeremy: That’s because I’m here, full of awesomeness and sunshine! I’ve made it so we don’t have tornadoes.