This is the post I wrote on my personal Facebook wall today…
Today is the Transgender Day of Visibility. Jeremy hasn’t been out for very long, only since the summer, although zie’s been edging towards being out for a while before that… testing the waters with both myself and other family members.
One of the hardest things for me is that some of the people I figured would be zir biggest supporters have quietly disappeared (and presumably have unfollowed me). Their silence is obvious and noticeable. What they don’t seem to realize is that I’m not posting for them. I’m not setting out to make them comfortable. My goal is to make Jeremy comfortable and to try my hardest to ensure a space for zir in this world.
Pull out your wallet and take a look at your ID. How many have a space for anyone other than male/female? There isn’t any (at least not here in Canada) and with every form I watch Jeremy’s sparkle fade a little more. My job as a mother is to stand beside zir and I want to make this country a better place for zir and for my trans friends.
I am not going to encourage Jeremy to hide or try to blend in. It might be easier for the rest of society but it is NOT easier for zir; that’s simply a tried and true path to suicide because Jeremy does not (and has not) ever fit in. Zie was born to shine. And I don’t post these things behind Jeremy’s back. While zie doesn’t use Facebook often (and never uses the Facebook profile that most people have) zie is online and does see what I post. The things I post about zir are with zir approval… including this post and the original “coming out” post.
Unlike being gay, trans doesn’t have much of a stealth option. I mean I guess I could continue to misgender Jeremy but, really, short of never posting another picture… how do I hide zir (take a good look at zir picture). Really?
I’m a mother and I stand up for both of my children, loving them 110% (it’s like one of those super saturated solutions… just deal). I will not back down, unless they ask me to, and I will not be quiet.
Today I will be walking around town with my nails painted in the colour of the trans flag while wearing a trans pride bracelet. Jeremy has the same nails and is wearing purple.
Feel free to like if you want to show support. And if you don’t want to support us, no apologies from me, I’m not changing and neither is Jeremy.
Because I'm Fabulous 
you and Zir have my unwavering support as do all the Trans folks and their allies 🙂
Thanks 🙂
I’m glad you posted this, also because I didn’t know about Transgender Day of Visibility… I’ll ask my mother-in-law to lend me some nailpolish when she comes home! I’m with you! Hugs
Thanks 🙂
I admire your integrity. Those who unfollowed you as a result of speaking out about mothering a trans child is not worth losing any sleep over. I wish you both the very best.
Thank you
Good for you and Jeremy! Never let others dim the wonderfulness that is you!
I admire you and your devotion to your child. I wish all parents could be the same, no matter who they parent.
I had no idea that today was transgender day of visibility… but it is the day my gender-creative son wore a skirt in public for the first time, so I guess it’s fitting!
A huge “way to go!” to your son!
I support you and your family 100%! Happy Transgender Day of Visibility!
🙂 🙂
Thanks 🙂
Pingback: Transgender (Tues)Day of Visibility | a day with depression
You are a very strong woman and a wonderful mom. You are both so very lucky to have each other. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you
Happy transgender day of visibility! Way to go!
I find that I sometimes feel concerned that others are uncomfortable with some of the gender nonconforming things I do. I remind myself that I’m not doing these things in order to make them uncomfortable, but rather to make myself comfortable. It can feel like a struggle. Yet if I did not do these things to care for myself, I would not even want to go to some events dances that it go to. I never seem to get entirely comfortable (except at the rare dance events I go to where there is no gender conformity 🙂 which makes it all much more comfortable.)
(((hugs))) I know Jeremy doesn’t wear the clothes zie wants to wear because zie told me so. Flip side is zie won’t tell me the clothes zie wants to wear. I wish society in general wasn’t so worried about gender norms so that everyone could fit in comfortably.