In some ways my friend is pretty average. She has a house, three kids, a dog and a cat in small town America. Her children go to public school and are actively involved in sports. They camp, climb trees, swim, and love to get messy.

In other way’s she’s not. My friend is pansexual and non-binary, her oldest is gay, and her daughter is trans. Small town America doesn’t like them very much. And it shows. Her daughter has a diagnosis of gender dysphoria by a reputable paediatrician; she was told to follow her daughter’s lead and let her be herself. She’s bought enough clothing, from both sides of the children’s department, to open a clothing store and I’m reasonably sure she’s cleared out Target’s toy department as well. Their pantry is well stocked, the children attend school regularly, they’re clean and unbruised with that confident and slightly cocky attitude children have when they know they have a parent who is going to listen and support them. Meanwhile children’s protective services might as well have a revolving door installed on their front porch.

Children’s protective services removed her children for several months a year ago and allowed her daughter both to be beaten and have hot sauce and vinegar poured on her tongue for daring to say she was a girl. What’s a little pain now if it cures her? This preschool aged child spent months surrounded by so called professionals who berated her for saying she was a girl and insisted she had to go by her boy’s name. And now they’re back. This time claiming that if she really was a girl, she’d say so persistently and wouldn’t be scared to announce it. Once again this child, who’s biggest worry should be remembering if n comes after m, has to worry about her physical safety from the people who vowed to protect her.

My friend gets to comfort her sobbing child who wishes she could cut off her own penis and die. I don’t know what the worker gets out of it. Maybe the self satisfaction of not allowing the liberals to ruin her country.

I go on Facebook and see a veritable flood of articles about bathroom bills in various States. They all contain arguments from people who insist that there is nothing but male and female and that both are readily defined and recognizable. These people know they’re right, after all it’s obvious. There’s only been male and female forever. Won’t anyone think of the children?

Then they proceed to ignore the facts laid before them. All the various combinations of X and Y which make up people’s chromosomes. The prevalence of intersex people. All the various cultures who have and do recognize more than two genders. Studies that map how prenatal hormones shape the brain in regards to gender (most of which I’ve discussed here). They don’t need to read anyone else’s information because it’s their opinion, which they’re allowed to have, and no one can tell them otherwise.

It’s easy to shrug them off as unimportant, nothing more than wilfully ignorant trolls, except they’re not. They’re the caseworkers my friend has to deal with, the parents of her daughter’s classmates, and the coaches in their teams. They’re the people my adult friends hand their resumes to, who look at their ID then their face before filing the resume in the trash. They’re doctors and teachers and politicians. The people who won’t allow my friends to have ID that matches their gender. They’re people who have a gun and hatred and a burning need to show what they’ll do to protect the children.

They’re very eager to protect the children. Just not all the children. Not the little girl who’s being forced to hold hot sauce in her mouth until she recants and promises she’s really a boy… just please make it stop hurting. Not the six year olds with bladder infections from holding it in because they want to use the “wrong bathroom”. Not the children who get told by adults that they should kill themselves for being different. No one will miss you. They only want to protect children who were never in any danger in the first place, from a threat they made up to incite hatred.

My arms aren’t big enough to hug my friend who’s so very tired of reading articles and posts detailing society’s hatred of her… and my friend who’s positive there’s no one in the world who cares… and my friend who feels like no man will ever love her for herself… and my friends who are terrified for their children’s safety (children who are still young enough to be tucked in with a bedtime story and a kiss)… for my friend who’s growing increasingly tempted to cut off their own breasts because surgery is far too expensive in “the land of the free”… for the young artist who receives scores of hate mail every single day because she draws cartoons that depict her life.

And then some one else complains their free speech is being trampled because how dare some damn liberal disagree.

And my friend rocks her sobbing daughter to sleep.

23 thoughts on “Rage…

  1. What year is this? I have to ask if a child is being treated this way “to cure what ails ’em.” I have to ask if ignorance and discomfort trump respect of others. I have to ask is Jesus Christ’s name is being used as an excuse to torment those who are different. There is no excuse for this hateful behavior of anyone, but a child! A child, what is wrong with you if you are this threatened by a child?

  2. Every time she posts in MBB I get so angry and sad and wish there was something we could do but I just don’t know what 😦

    • What is MBB? I want to spread the word, stories and hope, but I am unfamiliar with this acronym… Secondly, this story above is beyond terrifying. I knew it was bad out there, I just wasn’t aware HOW bad…

      • Mothers Beyond Belief. It’s a Facebook group for atheist mothers of all genders. If you’re a parent and have ever identified as a mother, you’re welcome.

        And it’s still going on with another court case *fumes*

  3. Your arms are not big enough to hug your friend. But your friend is my friend and the friend of so many others. Together, our arms are big enough to reach anyone.

  4. Your arms are not big enough to hug your friend. But your friend is also my friend and a friend of so many others. Together our arms are huge and we can reach around the world.

  5. Pingback: Read this please! Everyone has some kind of hurt – Life is worth living happy.

  6. Really, really well said.

    Have you considered submitting this somewhere like Huffington Post? I think this is a really powerful piece of writing that needs to be read by more people.

    Thank you for writing it.

  7. My heart is broken and full of rage.

    I know people shouldn’t have to move, but is that an option? Her daughter needs to thrive and I just don’t see that happening in the place where they currently live.

    • She owns a house there and there’s a rigid custody agreement in place that includes attending the local school board. I’m reasonably sure her ex husband’s picture is in the dictionary beside “control freak”.

  8. I’m so sorry your friend and her daughter are going through this. This kind of stuff just breaks my heart. I pray for a day when these people truly understand what “transgender” really means, and that they break down sobbing in repentance for all the evil they have done to trans kids and trans people in general.

  9. Pingback: What does it matter? – Because I'm Fabulous

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