I am here as a queer woman. I exist. My sexual orientation is valid. It is not an abnormality or a hormonal imbalance (yes, as a peri-menopausal woman I’ve had my hormones checked), or some sign of frigidity. Asexuality isn’t the same as celibacy, it’s not a choice. It’s just like any other sexual orientation.
Asexuality is also not the lack of a sex drive, there are plenty of asexuals who both enjoy and have sex. Asexuality is simply an absence of sexual attraction, nothing more and nothing less.
For example, Bob gets turned on looking at cute men, Frank gets turned on by cute women, Sally gets turned on looking at cute people, and Jane doesn’t get turned on by anyone. Jane doesn’t find Sally sexually attractive but she is romantically interested and is willing to have sex since Sally enjoys it. Her genitals still feel pleasure since this isn’t an issue with hormones and she can initiate sex since this isn’t some kind of frigidity. She loves Sally and, while she finds Sally’s crush on her favourite character odd, she’s willing to accept Sally’s allosexuality. Sally doesn’t understand how Jane doesn’t find anyone sexually attractive but is willing to accept Jane’s asexuality. It’s that simple.
My blog is a place where interested people can learn about asexuality (first hand) and trans issues (from an ally’s point of view) along with a glimpse into mine and Jeremy’s lives. It is not a debate club. Any comments that deny someone’s existence will be summarily deleted. I’m not here to converse with bigots, quite frankly I don’t have the time for that. If you want to debate someone’s existence, there are plenty of groups on Facebook where you’ll find a welcome. Here is not one of them.
My fellow aces. You are real, you are valid, and you are welcome here. My trans readers. You exist, you are valuable, and you are your gender. You are welcome here. My LGBI readers, you are welcome and cared about. This is a safe space.