April 23rd was a gorgeous day. That afternoon I pulled on my running shoes and headed out for a walk on a nearby trail. It was beautiful and peaceful walking alongside the Harmony creek.
I got my 10 thousand steps (plus a few extra thousand) then wandered back home, logging onto Facebook once I’d said “hi” to Colin. The first post that showed up on my page was an article saying a white van had jumped a curb in Toronto then continued forward, striking everyone and everything in it’s path. There were 9 dead and 16 injured, a statistic that soon changed to 10 dead and 15 injured.
One of my first thoughts was “why?” Was the driver drunk? High? Did he suffer a drop in sugar and subsequently passed out? Did he have a heart attack? A seizure?
The answer was none of those. Soon people started talking about him being an incel. I figured that was some sort of terrorist group and it is. It’s just their reasoning and targets are slightly different.
Incel stands for “involuntary celibate”, I guess mainly because they don’t like the more accurate moniker of misogynist. They hate the rest of humanity, who they refer to as “normies” or Stacy for the girls who aren’t interested in them (that would be all women) and Chad for the men who have managed to have relationships. They had a huge group in Reddit (I’ve heard it’s been removed) and congregate on 4chan, which isn’t a surprise. They also pretty much worship Elliot Rodger, the self described incel who killed 7 people in Isla Vista, California.
One of the first things I noticed when I read the post to the left is that the poster doesn’t have any concept of personality, mutual interests, or intellectual attraction. His only thought is physical attraction on a 1 – 10 high school rating system, kind of like in high school. He’s mad at woman for cheating the system by wearing makeup to make her look prettier then he assumes that cute guys are only into her for her “fake” looks. He even goes so far as claiming good makeup skills should be punishable by law.
Cue a conversation in jail…
“Why are you here?”
“I, umm, put on some Covergirl…”
He gets right into setting out the teenage boys’ hotness scale as law. Makeup gets banned immediately as it “falsely advertises their beauty”, granting them sex with “guys above their league”.
Then he gets into even more government regulations, this time calling for a state mandated hotness test for all adults, again based on a high school 1 to 10 scale. He presumes that everyone has the same ideals for physical beauty and, of course, ignores intelligence, kindness, animation, and sensuality. So, in his world, if a 3/10 man clicks with a 5/10 woman, that can’t happen no matter how much they love each other. What’s love in an incel world?
Apparently dick is a big, dirty problem because it seems to taint women. Each dick she copulates with brings her down a notch on the scale. And she can’t move back up the scale unless she exercises. Note, there is no corresponding drop for men. If they have sex with nine women it’s celebration time. And, finally we come to state mandated rape. Every woman with more than nine partners and every single Mom has to date and have sex with the men too repellent to get dates on their own. They don’t have a choice in the matter. You broke up with your abusive husband? Okay, well here’s Bill. He has fantasies of choking a woman during rape and he’s all yours now. Find a sitter and go make sure he has fun!
These men live in a two dimensional world where everyone is straight and worth only their physical appearance. And as I’ve said already, nothing else matters. When I fell in love with Lenny, I didn’t fall in love with his physical appearance, although I did find him attractive. I fell in love because we had similar interests. We both were working on a blog, we were both vegan, we both loved cats and music. We could talk for hours. But none of that matters to incels.
Women don’t matter to them at all. We exist as objects formed only to provide them sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure they feel is owed to them. Women are simply objects to dole out to men who can’t find someone to date them. I’m a single Mom. My worth did not increase when I was dating my exes and it didn’t decrease when our relationships ended. I am not a bone to throw at some stray dog, in hopes it will stop growling. I am a human being with all the rights that entails.
It would be nice to think that post was a one off but it’s not. Another post is making the rounds on Facebook.
Just a bit of harmless psychological fun, chasing a young teenage girl and frightening her half to death, just so she’ll notice you. And he enjoys it enough that he goes from city to city harassing women. He says he abhors rape but how long will it be before he, or one of the “lonely incels” he’s encouraging, decide the chase isn’t fun enough. What happens when he actually catches someone?
Just in case someone thinks that these misogynists are strictly American, despite Alek Minassian being Canadian. Here’s a post for you. One where, once again, women have no value of their own and no rights to their thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs. If a guy needs a girlfriend, there’s a girl right here. Who cares about her personality or interests? It’s her vagina that counts.
Plus it’s women who are at fault for men’s actions. It’s not a man’s job to stop himself from mass murder. It’s women because no one stepped up and spread their legs. It doesn’t matter if they’re uninterested, actively repulsed, or not even interested in men. He feels that single men are made to feel like trash and they should be handed the first available woman as if she’s his due.
I have an blog post that I’m going to link here that shows, in depth how depraved and out of touch these misogynists are. The blog post needs a trigger warning because it discusses how they are planning on attacking people, women in particular.
I have no idea how to help the misogynistic men we already have. Their personalities are set and they’re aimed at sad, delusional lives. What I do think is we need to work with our children. We need to teach them that both boys and girls have feelings, that it’s okay to cry. We need to let boys do “girl things” like play in the house centre in kindergarten and wear pink. It’s okay to like glitter and stuffed animals and Barbies. I believe that restricting these from boys and claiming they’re only for girls does two things. One it sets them up with a sense of outrage because only girls can do what he wanted and, two, it sets them up to think girl things and girls are lesser because if they were equal, he could do the same things as them.
I think we’re slowly raising more and more boys who believe in equality and who seek women for more than their looks. With any luck incels will turn out to be a dying breed.