Be gentle with yourself…

Dear American friends,

Please be gentle with yourself today. You, as always, have the same inherent worth and dignity of every human being. You are valued, needed, and wanted no matter how you feel right now.

It might seem like it but the whole world is not against you. Yes, Trump got in but almost the same amount of people voted against him as for him. You are not alone.

Now is the time for grass roots organizations. Talk to friends on Facebook and form groups. Join your local PFLAG Meet with friends and queer up the PTA. If you have a gender creative child, make or join a gender creative playgroup (sign up and fill out the application in the link). Four years is a long time but it is not forever. You will make it through. You are stronger than you think.

If you are suicidal, please, please get help. No matter what, there is someone who cares. I care. I have a whole list of resources on my resource page that encompass the world. There’s even a texting option if you can’t bring yourself to talk.

Practise some self care. Have a shower, wash some dishes, have something to eat (even if it’s just cake). Brush your teeth, go for a walk around the block, colour a picture. Do something that makes your heart happy.

I am so sorry you’re having to go through this. Sadly, the idiots who voted for Trump will not be the ones dealing with the results (for the most part). But, hopefully, they’ll open their eyes over the next four years and vote better next time. Good luck, best wishes, and stay safe. You matter.

Love, Michelle
secretmom@email.com

Tears…

Jeremy loves to discuss American politics. Zie’s obsessed with the upcoming elections, watching the Young Turks every night and fervently explaining to me all the reasons why Hillary Clinton shouldn’t be elected. I’ve heard it all… voter fraud… possible indictment… media bias… I think the only thing zie’s missed is her defending a rapist back in the 70’s. Please, no one tell zir about that. I don’t need hours more of explanations.

What zie’s not understanding is it doesn’t matter who gets elected. Okay, it matters but the election will not change the fact that the United States is a dynamite warehouse covered in tar paper, situated beside a lighter factory run by pyromaniacs. It’s not a matter of if there’ll be an explosion, it’s when and how wide will the wreckage scatter.

It didn’t start with Obama being elected, the hatred of anyone deemed “different” was already there. But having a black man leading the country gave racists a focal point and a target. Those of you who want to argue that people simply dislike his politics might want to take a wander over to Malia’s 15th birthday page where people are hoping she gets raped to death.

It didn’t start with Trump either. He didn’t fabricate a culture of racist, homophobic, transphobic bigots out of nothing. They were already there, sporting their one man/one woman marriage pins and kicking their trans kids to the curb. He gave them a voice and a chance to congregate outside of KKK meetings.

Today is Jeremy’s 19th birthday. We celebrated yesterday with a 7am wake up to open zir presents, a sunny afternoon spent with family, and a gooey chocolate cake for dessert. I woke up this morning to news of the Orlando shooting. Twenty, then fifty dead. Fifty-three injured. All because one man saw two men kissing a few months ago and didn’t like it. A short while later came the news about another man being apprehended with explosives in his car… on his way to the LA Pride Parade. Half my friends are in shock and crying “there’s nowhere we can be safe”. And, once again, my arms aren’t anywhere near big enough for them all.

One fall evening, I sat in my living room and quietly cried while I watched one year old Jeremy toddling around with zir baby doll. I’d just seen the news about Matthew Shepard and couldn’t fathom how people could hate that much. Were they going to hate my child too? And I sit here today and realize that, yes, they can and they will… without even giving themselves a chance to know zir.

Jeremy doesn’t see a point in naming zir sexual orientation. Zie’ll fall in love with who zie falls in love and it shouldn’t matter to anyone else. Jeremy also uses three pronouns for zirself; he, zie, and she… while not seeing the point in gender either. Zie’d much rather discuss politics, computers, or video games. In an ideal world it wouldn’t matter. Sadly we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a world where Jeremy has to add “if it’s safe for me there” to zir dreams of “someday I’d like to travel to…” And, honestly, the United States is scratched off zir list and has been for a while.

Today I’m going to split the last wedge of chocolate cake with Jeremy and give zir a huge hug. We’ll face tomorrow when it gets here.

Colin and zir phone attachment