Moving right along…

I still haven’t got a move in date for my apartment. I was told “sometime in the summer”. My psychiatrist laughed when I told him that and said, “That means September”. I have to admit he’s probably right. I’m moving right along for the new apartment. I’ve got new cutlery, new plates, new wall art, and new food storage containers. I’ve even enlarged the floor plan for the unit so I can plan a little easier.

Apartment layout

My floor plan

The hard part is Colin. While he has contacted the John Howard Society regarding help finding an apartment, he hasn’t done anything else. No money’s been saved, no units have been called. Every once in a while he’ll ask me if it’s too late to cancel my apartment. I keep telling him it is. I’ve signed all the agreements and accepted the subsidy. I can’t back out now. I can’t help thinking he’s not really trying to move because he figures I’ll cancel and stay with him if it gets to the summer and he has no way to move. Which means I’ve got to put in all the effort.


I mailed in an application for my building, which he could afford until they updated the home page recently and added “plus utilities”. The utility company figured the cost would be between one and two hundred a month. Ouch! I don’t pay utilities because I’m on subsidy. Colin isn’t that lucky.

I called another place which advertises $760/m for rent and wasn’t surprised to find their waiting list is well over a year long. And only offered a place that is known for it’s dealers, cockroaches, bedbugs, and mice. Ironically their price wasn’t particularly low either. All that’s left is wading through kijiji on a regular basis and looking for apartment for rent signs. And his worker at John Howard Society. Hopefully she can help him find something.

What’s worrying me just as much is Colin doesn’t have any money other than the $70 from his GoFundMe. It’s easy to say, it’s his choice to spend all his money, he needs to deal with the consequences but, in this case, the consequences are moving my autistic 21 year old into a homeless shelter. The consequences are too steep.

So now I have two options to get money for Colin. His Go Fund Me and my LGBTQ friendly fantasy novel. Any money received goes right into my savings account where I’m keeping track of his deposits. I don’t have any fancy prizes for donating to his Go Fund Me account. The only prize is keeping him off the street. But if you buy my book you’ll get a novel that everyone who’s read it has raved about.

Here’s my book…

And here is Colin’s GoFundMe…

Thank you so much for helping!!!

And the moving plans begin…

20190127_130325Yesterday I got the news I’ve been hoping for. My name is 100% for sure on the confirmation list for the new building and I’ll be moving sometime in August. They can’t specify any more than that because, as you can see, the building isn’t finished and I’m sure they’ve got tonnes more to do inside too.

Colin’s picked out the building he’d like to move to and will be putting an application in on Monday. We also sat down last night and worked on an application for Value Village. Next step is to make a resume.

The one thing we’re struggling with is the Go Fund Me. So far he only has two donations. Apparently I’m not good at this asking for money thing. I’m happy with the money he’s got but it won’t cover last month’s rent and he needs that. The apartment he’s looking at is $895/m and he needs it up front. I’m not expecting huge donations, a hundred $5 donations is $500, so anything can help. I’ll be linking his Go Fund Me me to every post from now on until he a) has enough money or b) is moving. I’ve been sharing his Go Fund Me more on Facebook but even there is going to increase. I hope people understand. This is so anxiety inducing for both Colin and I. We thought we had years before I got up to the top of the list and now we have months. I keep telling myself it’ll be worth it when it’s over but that’s hard to believe when my heart feels like it’s doing the mamba.

And, with no further ado, here’s the link…

Colin’s Go Fund Me

Colin’s Go Fund Me…

I was walking through the park with one of my caseworkers in December when she paused, looking like she had some bad news.

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” she started. “The housing list has slowed to a stop. There’s no new units and no one’s getting placed. They’ve closed the list entirely, no new people can get on. You’re looking at another two or three years wait at least.”

What could I say to that? It’s not like she could pull an apartment out of a hat for me. And, besides, it would give us time to save, not our haphazard saving where we put $50 away for moving then use it for groceries, but real saving.

Three weeks later I got a call from someone I didn’t recognize. He turned out to be the housing manager and he had a one bedroom apartment for me alone, available this summer. Which is great for me but Colin needs to find a place too. Not only that but he needs to save last month’s rent and a moving van. I don’t need last month’s rent.

We’re looking but it’s going to be hard. So many rooms have high expectations. Must be female… over fifty… have two positive reviews from landlords… good credit rating… full time job. He wanted to move into the building behind us but was told by disability he’d be kicked off if he did because, at $875/m, it was too expensive. Most one bedrooms are over a thousand dollars. And, of course, he needs money. Landlords don’t take promises, they want cold, hard cash. And he doesn’t have that. That’s where you come in. I’m hoping that anyone who can afford it will donate something, no matter how small. And if you can’t donate, please share. Right now Colin is so anxious and this will help.

Thank you!

Colin’s Go Fund Me Account

Feeling not so fabulous…


Thank you so much everyone!!! We’ve reached the amount for rent money now and anything from now forward goes toward bills and debts. This is such an unbelievably huge relief. I can’t express how much this has helped!!!
~September 2nd~


I started 2016 off with the best of expectations. 2015 had been horrible and I was positive that 2016 was going to be my year. It was going to be fabulous. I started it off with a full time job (and the potential to transfer within walking distance) and an amazing boyfriend (who’d been my best friend for years). What could go wrong? I’m pretty sure fate laughed at that.

By May I’d become suicidal, lost my boyfriend (fiance by that point), and was no longer able to work. I was hospitalized in June and still suicidal in July. I’d cancelled my tickets to visit my ex by then and got back a pittance of money, just enough to cover a one night trip to Niagara Falls for Jeremy and I.

Then things started looking up. I got involved with a mental health agency who can help both Jeremy and myself with community supports and a subsidized housing wait list (including supportive housing for Jeremy). I had money coming in on August 31st for the rent and money coming in on the 30th from EI for my bills and groceries. Our trip went well and definitely within budget (I even packed all our meals) and Jeremy had an amazing time.

Colin on the Hornblower cruise2

Soggy Jeremy in the center of the Horseshoe Falls

Then I got home and discovered the cheque I’d expected (and received notice for) wasn’t coming. A cheque I’d been depending on for rent. At this point I’m not even sure the agency is going to cover the medication I use to keep me alive. 2016 is making 2015 look like a sunshine filled trip through the park.

At this point I’ve run out of options so I’ve set up a GoFundMe under my real name; which means you all get to know what Irish name I have. I did manage to keep Jeremy’s name secret. If you have any money, please feel free to donate. If not, please feel free to share. Thank you so much.

>>>>>>>>>>>> my GoFundMe <<<<<<<<<<<<

I just don’t understand people…

Some of you might not realize that Jeremy came out as bisexual last summer. As far as I know he’s currently identifying as straight but sexual orientation is a very prickly subject with Jeremy and one we discuss rarely. He also identifies as gender nonconforming and not as 100% male. So far he doesn’t identify as trans but he also hasn’t sorted out his gender yet. This means I’ve already been through a couple of instances where he’s “come out” and am sure I haven’t reached the last of them yet.

Jeremy can drive me right round the bend. As I write this, he’s sitting in his pyjamas in the living room. The dishes he was supposed to wash yesterday are in the sink and he’s dragged a tangle of computer cords into the bathroom (???). He’s also dumped a bag of electonics across the couch. So he’s not exactly in my good books right now. I just got home from work though and the mess can wait for a brief time.

That being said, my irritation with him has to do with chores. Not his pjs… or his perfume… or him eyeing some naked guy on the beach at camp. And even when I’m joking about punting him off our balcony, I’m sorting out what to buy him for Christmas this year and contemplating school lunches. The kid’s not going anywhere (except hopefully to take out the recycling).

I saw this today…

I don’t understand people sometimes; I really don’t. No matter what that mother said, this isn’t love or support and it certainly isn’t family.

Also there’s been a GoFundMe account set up for Daniel to help him with living expenses.