I bought myself six packages of dark chocolate peanut butter cups, figuring I could space them out for a month. I also bought a carton of vegan Haagen Daz peanut butter and chocolate ice cream and a bag of dill pickle flavoured kettle chips. I’d hoped they’d last the full month. They lasted one day. This has been going on for a while and just keeps getting worse. I’ve gained weight and am worried about not fitting my regular clothes. I don’t have the wardrobe money to reclothe myself, even if it’s all from Value Village.
I talked to my psychiatrist about my worries about binging and he suggested a dietician. So I made an appointment with one. We sat down and talked about what I eat and the general proportions. This was tough because I don’t tend to think about what I’m eating and because I have a foggy memory.
She listened to me and immediately told me the problem. I’m not eating enough, which seemed odd because I’m routinely turning into a human garburator but she explained. I’m not eating enough during my meals so when my body discovers high carb, high fat foods it immediately jumps on them. And, I must admit, I’ve been missing a few meals too simply because I wasn’t hungry. That can’t help. So now to work on having healthy meals, even when I’m exhausted or not hungry. This will be so much easier when I move and have the freezer space to store prepared meals. I used to make stews, chilis, and spaghetti sauce to freeze but I can barely fit a Haagen Daz container in there now.
Then I went to my Wellness Group where we’re doing a 5 part series on intuitive eating. I was reading through the pamphlet and came across this paragraph. This is so me.
Now that I know what’s going on with me. I need to figure out how to go about changing most of my diet and especially how to keep up with my healthy meals when I’m too depressed to cook. Hopefully, by the time I move, I’ll have positive steps in place to support my eating habits.
And I’m off to figure out what to have for lunch.