Shopping with Jeremy…

I was making pancakes this morning when my phone rang. It was my friend P. He and his husband were dropping off groceries at home then he was heading out. Did I want to hang out this afternoon? Was I interested in hanging out in arts and craft shops? Most definitely. So a half hour later Jeremy and I were off.

Shopping with Jeremy is interesting. It always has been. Jeremy has an incessant need to buy something… anything. From the time zie’s been old enough to speak I’ve been tucking zir under my arm while zie wailed, “But Mommy I need… I need…” It didn’t matter what it was. A car battery, a tin of peas, a dented can of anchovies on clearance… Jeremy needed it desperately.

Now at least zie’s more selective with zir needs but they’re all still desperate and burning (while we’re in the store at least). We started at Dollarama where I picked up a couple of stocking stuffers for Emma (did you know they have inflatable elephants there hon?). I found a package of purple glittery pumpkins for our table then Jeremy asked for a purple glittery bow for zir bedroom door. It was $1.25 so I stuck it in the cart. Then zie wanted headphones with a built in microphone. Okay. Then a Lost computer video game. I just bought zir a video game this week so no. I also said no to the USB key to replace the other Dollarama USB key which zie got to replace the previous Dollarama USB key (that could go on forever). I figure I averaged about four “no’s” an aisle.

We went to Subway next, which was a break because everything was food and there wasn’t an option other than a sandwich, a side, and a drink. After that was Wal-Mart, where I said yes to a new pair of jeans and a Doctor Who poster and no to everything else including a $40 suitcase that Jeremy wanted for the sole reason it was purple. The same reason zie gave for wanting a $45 backpack at the nearby art store. I just bought zir a backpack last month. I thought the art store would be a bit of a reprieve but Jeremy started begging for artist’s brushes even though zie doesn’t paint. There are a lot of brushes in art stores.

Michaels Arts and Crafts was our final stop. Jeremy started that store off by asking for a $25 Christmas ornament. We didn’t buy it. Then zie begged zir way up and down every single aisle. The purple glittery scrapbooking paper was tempting. Jeremy doesn’t scrapbook but I do and I’m a sucker for glitter. I’ve been digiscrapping for a decade now though so I resisted. Jeremy pouted.

“Jeremy. I spent thirty-six dollars at Dollarama,” I hissed when we were alone in an aisle. “I’m broke. I can’t afford to spend anymore.”

“We spent that much?!” Jeremy replied. Zie looked shocked.

“Yes.”

“So you can’t afford to buy me anything else?” zie asked and I sighed with relief. Maybe it was going to be that simple.

“No, I can’t,” I agreed. “We’re going to have to window shop.”

We turned the corner into a new aisle. P was standing halfway down the aisle, contemplating a display.

“Ooo… brushes,” Jeremy said excitedly. “Mom, can you buy me a brush?”

it wasn’t that simple. I just barely managed to resist banging my head against the wall.

Jeremy continued begging down every single aisle. My pat answer of “ask for it for Christmas” grew weary. No wonder Jeremy likes the TARDIS so much. Zie’d need one just to hold all the stuff zie wants. And a lot bigger family to buy it all.

Finally we reached the check out and Jeremy grew more frantic. Zie hadn’t gotten anything in the last two stores and zir need to buy had reached a fevered pitch.

“Mom, I’m starving. I need something to eat,” zie pleaded after I turned down a request for candies stuffed inside the plastic bomb from Super Mario. Almost four dollars for 25 cents worth of candy.

“You have a butter tart waiting for you at home,” I replied. This was the fourth time I’d used that line.

“But that’s at home,” he snapped. “I’m starving.”

“You just ate a 12 inch sub and two rainbow chip cookies,” I pointed out.

“But I’m still starving. How about one of those Lindor chocolates?”

It was 89 cents. I grabbed it from the bin and zie sighed with relief.

“Thank you Mom.”

Zie forgot about the chocolate until I pulled it out of the bag at home and obviously didn’t starve. The poster is still rolled inside its wrap and the jeans still folded in the bag. Zie’s done nothing with the purple plastic bin zie needed at Dollarama and the glittery bow is tucked away in a closet because zie’s waiting until closer to Christmas to put it up. Actually, the only one who’s done anything with the stuff we bought today is me.

And now I’ve got a bit of a reprieve… until the next time we go shopping at least.